Lindsay barely escaped the ghastly clutches of death when he received a splinter the size of Montana in his finger. The immense sangrine river flowed in double beats from his finger; each pulse we were sure was his last. He lay meekly on the bed, the paleness of his escaping lifeforce tinting his skin yellow. When, suddenly, a savior emerged from the dark. The Mighty Dawson, with her double-edged sword, thrust deeply into the heart of the wound with infallible precision. The splinter conceded, and fell by her silver blade.
When all was said and bandaged, we took the oversized bi-focal magnifying glass back to CVS, and the day (and $8) was saved!
